Negative behavior can be quite a downer. Once upon a time, I had a colleague with daily adverse energy. In our discussions she would never cease to complain about everything she could think about–job, family, friends, health. She also was highly cynical of others, often doubting and severely judging their intentions. To say the least, to talk to her was not an enjoyable experience.
I felt totally drained the first time we had a conference. Even if we were speaking for only 30 minutes, after our discussion I hardly had any power remaining. It felt like someone literally sucked my life away and it took me a few hours to wear off the impacts. The next few times we talked about the same thing. I soon found out that I had to develop an action plan to tackle this type of adverse energy. After all, in my life she wasn’t going to be the only adverse guy I met.
I created a number of important strategies to deal efficiently with adverse individuals. They worked wonderful things in my own lives and Marc and myself are using them to help hundreds of weekly coaching and course students. I hope that in them, too, you will discover value …
1. Set boundaries and apply them.
It is difficult to cope with individuals who are adverse and fail to concentrate on alternatives. You want individuals to join your pampered group 24/7 so you can feel more comfortable. And it may be because you do not wish to be regarded as insane or rude that you feel forced to listen to their complaints, but it is a fine line between listening and getting drawn into the adverse emotional drama.
By setting boundaries and distancing yourself where necessary, you can prevent this tragedy. Please think this: would you like to sit next to them all day inhaling the second-hand smoke, if a adverse individual were cigarettes smokers? No, you wouldn’t–you wouldn’t get away. So go ahead and take a breath when you have to.
Another excellent way to establish limitations is to ask a adverse individual how they are trying to resolve the issue that they complain of when distancing themselves in the short run. They will often either rest or redirect the discussion, at least momentarily, in a more harmonious direction.
2. Do not just respond – be mindful of the situation
A response is a warm, thoughtless emotional explosion in the minute that is generally driven by your ego (as human beings, when we are unconnected to our logical mind), we are most likely to respond. It could only take a split second before your intuition starts, offering you some outlook, or it could take over to the extent you act on it. If after coping with a person you feel upset or flush
In short, you don’t react by throwing insults at anyone with a adverse attitude. Maintain your dignity and don’t fall to their levels. True power is courageous enough for your head to wander away from the senselessness.
3. Choose a positive topic
The adverse approaches of some people are driven by certain apparently harmless subjects. For instance, when we speak about his work, one of my colleagues becomes a highly toxic self-victimizer. Regardless of what I say, she is going to complain of everything about her work and when I attempt to intercept favorable remarks, she rolls with more negativity right over them. This obviously becomes quite a damping discussion.
If the individual you speak to is stuck in a subject which brings you down, you may be aware of their adverse feelings too profoundly rooted to tackle in an unanimous discussion. If you are in a comparable discussion. Your best bet is to bring a fresh subject to the mood. Simple things like funny memories, friendships, private stories of achievement and other sorts of things
4. Provide positive resolutions and avoid discussing negative issues.
Where and how your attention is focused determines your mental state. You generate and prolong negatives and stress when you zero in on the challenges you are facing. You generate a feeling of self-efficency that produces beneficial feelings and decreases stress by shifting your focus on actions that can enhance your conditions.
The same precise rule applies to adverse individuals–it only intensificates your pain to determine how stressful and hard they are by empowering them. Stop thinking about how troubled this individual is, and instead concentrate on how you will deal positively with their behaviour. This makes your driver’s seat more efficient and more efficient.
5. Keep an emotional separation from the views of others.
To keep stress at distance, maintaining a degree of emotional separation is essential. It is essential for your emotional health and happiness that negative people (or anyone else in this regard) do not put the weight of their insufficiency on your back. It all depends on your appreciation and therefore your faith in yourself.
People who efficiently handle their life are usually people who operate inside–i.e. people who understand that achievement and goodness come from inside (interior control locus). Negative people usually work externally, i.e. blame for anything that happens or doesn’t (internal control locus).
If the views of others are based on your sense of satisfaction and self-worth, you are no longer in control of your happiness. Know that. Know that. When individuals are emotionally powerful, they do not take away the inappropriate views or spiteful comments of anyone. They feel great about something they have accomplished.
Truth be told, you’re never as good as everyone says when you win, and you’re never as terrible as they tell you when you lose. The important thing is what you’ve learned, and what you’re doing with it.
We cannot control everyone’s emotions but we can change the situation on how we respond. Have you also experienced this kind of situations? Leave a comment below and share us your experience.
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