“A sense of entitlement is a cancerous thought process that is void of gratitude and can be deadly in our relationships.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli.
Some people wear entitlement like they own the world — they’re harsh, demanding and resentful, especially when they don’t get things they way they wanted it to be. But sometimes, you would not notice it, it’s subtle. That you will end up feeling, you are being manipulated.
Being friends, colleagues and associates with entitled individuals is a challenge because a relationship is supposedly equal, but it’s not for them. They will always feel superior and above you and will always prioritizes his agenda over others. How can the folly be stopped? Try the following 4 tips:
Tip number 1: Use wish fulfillment to set clear limits
An entitled individual will hold all sorts of expectations — he expect you to be readily available to babysit anytime he will ask, a grown child expect to inherit enough that he need not to save a dime, or a customer expect to not line up in a fastfood chain or bank because of his profession.
One great way of making it clear that you can’t or won’t fulfill the expectation, without blaming or criticism is through wish fulfillment. It sounds like this: “I wish I could babysit and help you out, but I have an appointment today. Next time give me a few days notice and I’ll see if I can help.” Or, “I wish I could work you in the schedule today, but everyone is booked solid. What about tomorrow?”
In short, say you want to fulfill his request and then politely make it clear that you can’t. Sometimes just recognition that you have heard and ostensibly agreed with the entitled person’s demand is sufficient to alleviate their fragile ego.
Tip number 2: Treat everyone equally
Don’t bend any rules and or make any exemptions for an entitled individual if you can’t do the same for everyone. Making exemptions will just feed into the mind of an entitled person that he is special and superior, above everyone else. Plus it has an effect to the rest of the group, making them feel resentful. Everyone will feel secure and safe if you will run a tight and egalitarian ship.
Tip number 3: Feel a bit sorry for them
Yes, individuals who are entitled can boil your blood. But there’s a raging feeling of insufficiency underneath everything. However they may look outside, it is always helpful to think their lives and relationships are pretty miserable.
Tip number 4: Remember you can only do so much
No mater what and how, you can never change an entitled individual, but only themselves. You can try to help and protect, but always steer clear by setting limits, being egalitarian and feeling compassion.
To wrap this all up, there’s a popular saying that goes “You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”
Have you ever had encounter these kinds of senarios? Share us your thoughts and experience. Comment down below.
Negative behavior can be quite a downer. Once upon a time, I had a colleague with daily adverse energy. In our discussions she would never cease to complain about everything she could think about–job, family, friends, health. She also was highly cynical of others, often doubting and severely judging their intentions. To say the least, to talk to her was not an enjoyable experience.
I felt totally drained the first time we had a conference. Even if we were speaking for only 30 minutes, after our discussion I hardly had any power remaining. It felt like someone literally sucked my life away and it took me a few hours to wear off the impacts. The next few times we talked about the same thing. I soon found out that I had to develop an action plan to tackle this type of adverse energy. After all, in my life she wasn’t going to be the only adverse guy I met.
I created a number of important strategies to deal efficiently with adverse individuals. They worked wonderful things in my own lives and Marc and myself are using them to help hundreds of weekly coaching and course students. I hope that in them, too, you will discover value …
1. Set boundaries and apply them.
It is difficult to cope with individuals who are adverse and fail to concentrate on alternatives. You want individuals to join your pampered group 24/7 so you can feel more comfortable. And it may be because you do not wish to be regarded as insane or rude that you feel forced to listen to their complaints, but it is a fine line between listening and getting drawn into the adverse emotional drama.
By setting boundaries and distancing yourself where necessary, you can prevent this tragedy. Please think this: would you like to sit next to them all day inhaling the second-hand smoke, if a adverse individual were cigarettes smokers? No, you wouldn’t–you wouldn’t get away. So go ahead and take a breath when you have to.
Another excellent way to establish limitations is to ask a adverse individual how they are trying to resolve the issue that they complain of when distancing themselves in the short run. They will often either rest or redirect the discussion, at least momentarily, in a more harmonious direction.
2. Do not just respond – be mindful of the situation
A response is a warm, thoughtless emotional explosion in the minute that is generally driven by your ego (as human beings, when we are unconnected to our logical mind), we are most likely to respond. It could only take a split second before your intuition starts, offering you some outlook, or it could take over to the extent you act on it. If after coping with a person you feel upset or flush
In short, you don’t react by throwing insults at anyone with a adverse attitude. Maintain your dignity and don’t fall to their levels. True power is courageous enough for your head to wander away from the senselessness.
3. Choose a positive topic
The adverse approaches of some people are driven by certain apparently harmless subjects. For instance, when we speak about his work, one of my colleagues becomes a highly toxic self-victimizer. Regardless of what I say, she is going to complain of everything about her work and when I attempt to intercept favorable remarks, she rolls with more negativity right over them. This obviously becomes quite a damping discussion.
If the individual you speak to is stuck in a subject which brings you down, you may be aware of their adverse feelings too profoundly rooted to tackle in an unanimous discussion. If you are in a comparable discussion. Your best bet is to bring a fresh subject to the mood. Simple things like funny memories, friendships, private stories of achievement and other sorts of things
4. Provide positive resolutions and avoid discussing negative issues.
Where and how your attention is focused determines your mental state. You generate and prolong negatives and stress when you zero in on the challenges you are facing. You generate a feeling of self-efficency that produces beneficial feelings and decreases stress by shifting your focus on actions that can enhance your conditions.
The same precise rule applies to adverse individuals–it only intensificates your pain to determine how stressful and hard they are by empowering them. Stop thinking about how troubled this individual is, and instead concentrate on how you will deal positively with their behaviour. This makes your driver’s seat more efficient and more efficient.
5. Keep an emotional separation from the views of others.
To keep stress at distance, maintaining a degree of emotional separation is essential. It is essential for your emotional health and happiness that negative people (or anyone else in this regard) do not put the weight of their insufficiency on your back. It all depends on your appreciation and therefore your faith in yourself.
People who efficiently handle their life are usually people who operate inside–i.e. people who understand that achievement and goodness come from inside (interior control locus). Negative people usually work externally, i.e. blame for anything that happens or doesn’t (internal control locus).
If the views of others are based on your sense of satisfaction and self-worth, you are no longer in control of your happiness. Know that. Know that. When individuals are emotionally powerful, they do not take away the inappropriate views or spiteful comments of anyone. They feel great about something they have accomplished.
Truth be told, you’re never as good as everyone says when you win, and you’re never as terrible as they tell you when you lose. The important thing is what you’ve learned, and what you’re doing with it.
We cannot control everyone’s emotions but we can change the situation on how we respond. Have you also experienced this kind of situations? Leave a comment below and share us your experience.
Most modern success stories read like Greek myth adaptations. Our role models are remarkable demigods such as Oprah, Tony Robbins and Beyoncé— we admire them and study them with awe, aim high and take our own leaps as they lead the way. The hero is the entrepreneur or career rock star, on a journey built from accomplishing half a dozen incredible feats and still fitting before dinner in Pilates. Such achievements are our new currency and our symbols of status.
While we strive to be our happiest and healthiest, financial success is also achieved through long hours and hard work. As we reach our “best life,” we aim to balance work – life and feel bad when we don’t feel we’ve achieved it.
Roughly everyone is spread thin today, which can develop into stress – related burnout and eventually disease if left unchecked. But this way it doesn’t have to be. I found a remarkably easy way to avoid falling into the burnout trap:
1. Don’t be busy with business mistakes.
Look at your workload and use this simple question for each item on your task list: “Will the effects of this task have a positive, lasting impact on my life and business life?” If the answer is no, it probably won’t be worth it.
2. There’s no self – made thing — so get good when you ask for help.
Use this simple formula to send requests to others: identify who can help you, ask them if you can send them a request, make the specific request as long as it takes, and thank them profusely for helping you. Ask them who they think will if they don’t help. Your success is directly commensurate with your ability to seek help.
3.Keep Sunday sacred.
There’s a reason why world religions have a sacred rest day — it’s necessary to maintain emotional well-being and health. The Buddhists have a simple practice called “Circle Day” when, in the middle of the week, they take a full day off and use it to rest, meditate, create art, and care for themselves. And it works; I return to my work with new insight, boosted creativity and a renewed sense of curiosity when I take time to do nothing.
4. Pay attention to your adrenals.
Stress taps our adrenal glands and causes exhaustion in our bodies, and by drinking more caffeine we often cover it up. My energy increased exponentially when I started taking Standard Process Drenamin supplements. You can also take supplements from Holy Basil or drink Holy Basil tea to help the body stop producing cortisol— the stress hormone that ages and exhausts us. I do both now, and my focus, clarity, and ability to achieve great goals has grown beyond anything I ever thought possible.
5.Meditate (so you don’t have to medicate).
Many of the most successful people in the world are doing it. Start by setting your five – minute digital timer. Then sit comfortably and deeply inhale for a five count through your nose and exhale for another five counts. Repeat this again and again until beeping the timer. You can increase as much as you can.
Spreading ourselves thin is a tendency most of us have in our quest to succeed, but it’s not a lifestyle we can’t counterbalance with some simple, healthy habits. So here’s to your balance and your success on your own hero’s journey—and may it be burnout free!
Do you think you’ve got to be a tortured soul — at la van Gogh, Kurt Cobain, or Sylvia Plath — to be really creative?
You are not. Indeed, the more cheerful you are, the more imaginative and innovative you are to be. Alice Isen, Ph.D., late pioneer of scientific psychology, found that a positive “affect” (what researchers call a mood expression) facilitates flexible thinking and problem-solving, both of which are vital to the creative process. A happy state of mind, more than sulking, primes your brain for creative thinking.
A happy state of mind primes your brain for creative thinking, more than sulking does.
In one study conducted by Teresa Amabile, Ph.D., a Harvard Business School professor and research director and author of The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work, professionals working on innovative projects filed daily entries about the highs and lows of each day. After five months, Amabile and her team analyzed the nearly 12,000 entries and found that on the days when their moods were more positive, participants were more likely to think creative.
“Positive emotions loosen the thinking patterns of people, leading them to think broader and more extensively, creating unusual connections between ideas,” says Amabile. She says that these new connections can immediately lead to a creative thought, or they can incubate for a while and later result in ingenuity.
1. Take a deep breath.
If you’re upset or stressed out, you need to relax before you can feel really positive. “The relaxation response resets your central nervous system after stress,” says Christine Carter, Ph.D., University of California senior fellow, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and author of The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Work and Home. Carter recommends taking a few moments to get comfortable and breathe deeply, emphasizing your exhale.
2. Try a happy habit or two.
Find ways to boost your mood once you have reset. Some proven strategies: Identify five things for which you are grateful or ask a favorite colleague to go for a walk. “Even though you’re an introvert, the low-hanging fruit of mental well-being is social interaction,” Carter says. Your creativity will follow once your positivity is on the upswing.
3. Play hooky.
Moments of extreme happiness are big-time creativity boosters, the ones that make you wonder at life. So if you’re stuck in an office or working on a project at home, you’re hoping to be innovative and fresh, you might want to plan a break. Go for a walk. Bathe in the ocean. Visit an exhibit of art. If it is inspiring, it’s not procrastinating, Carter says. “Think of your playtime as providing data for your creativity,” she suggests, to eliminate any I should be working guilt.
4. Don’t reject your dark side.
It’s not natural to be implacably chipper. While a sunnier overall arrangement leads to originality, darker moods are also part of the process. “Denying and avoiding your negative feelings creates the worst thing for creativity, emotional numbness,” says Carter. Studies have shown that after adversity and struggle some people’s creativity is blossoming, but only if they work to make their feelings meaningful. Carter suggests journaling your experiences, or talking to a friend.